Confuse

Last week (gosh..its already been a week..time do fly..swooshh!!), I received a call from a friend of mine. She asked me to help her with her editing. Basically, she asked me to join her company. Yet again, 'her' company is happen to be my old company. But those day people called it CH"sumtinsumtin" (cannot write it here coz they might sue me. I'd a bad experience about these things). After being sold and re-branded, now they call it TV"sumtinsumtin". Actually, it was a 2nd call from TV"sumtinsumtin". The 1st call was backdated 4 month ago. But during that time, I was almost settled down with my current employer. Even more, TV"sumtinsumtin" was offered a job on contract basis, which is not secure enuff (current job is permenant with a good medical benefits plus MANY interesting disscount for the stuff).

But some events that happen lately really make me thinking about accepting the offer made by TV"sumtinsumtin". Honestly, I'm not happy with my current job. It's not the pay nor the place (situated in the middle of KL, what could anyone expect, its heaven dude), it just that I don't feel my job now is challenging compare to my previous. Well, I admitt, I'm not good in management (I couldn't even manage my own financial). More over, I have to challenge myself, or else I'll easily got bored. With my current job, the only challenge I'm facing is, how to tackle the attitude of the staff. Get them focus on their job, let them concentrate, feel responsible towards their carrier. And I'm hell no a motivator. I can teach, I can guide, but if they don't want listen, it's not my fuckin business. Pergi lar korang ke neraka lapis ke-7.

For the past few days (during my rostered off day) I've been spending my time at TV"sumtinsumtin" doing some editing (buat kerja² kebajikan..bukan dapat duit pon) for my friends. I already talked to the boss and they really need me to join in and continue what I've been doing for the past 4 years (well, I'm a good editor <-- kembang lubang telinga). But the workload between TV"sumtinsumtin" and my current company is like langit dengan bumi. TV"sumtinsumtin" have tonnes of work to be done within so small window. It's not like working around the clock, its like working AGAINST THE CLOCK. But, this is the kind of challenge that I've been looking for. This is what I'm good at. This is where my I put my heart and soul. I talked to some friends, asking about their opinions. Most of the feed back encourage me to join back the TV"sumtinsumtin". After all, I can get my head straight with those kind of burden. Unlike my situation now, tido tak basah, mandi tak lena.

I know what I want, what I need. All those things can only be found if I work with TV"sumtinsumtin". It just that I'm not sure if I'll be taking a right step. Even after talking to friends, got dozens of comments, but still I couldn't making up my mind. As for the readers, my main problem is in between "contract basis (but happy) or permenant (bleh sakit jiwa sampai masuk spital giler)". Maybe I should be doing solat isthikharah to get some answers coz now, I really don't know....

My beloved bebeh..hehe.